The other day while driving, I happened to hear a very interesting story. A government paid grant funded a research on dung beetles. Dung: Feces, shit, poop – now you got it. Dung beetles live on this and when a new pile of dung is discovered, they, or the most industrious of the group, rush to the dung. They chop or slash off a bit, roll the dung into a ball and then furiously roll it back to their abode, wherever that is. The problem is that the ‘less-industrious’ of the group, will stage high-jacks of the dung balls en-route to said abode. Those beetles are the bully-dung beetles and probably carry around a pot belly similar to American beer drinkers and fast-food addicts. (No offense here.)
So, this government paid grant was funded to see if the dung beetle could find its way home without the stellar/constellations above us. Yes, turns out the dung beetles find their way around dung and back by following the stars. Who knew??? What the heck do they do on a cloudy day??!! (Ah-ha! Another grant to fund.)
So, as I understand the experiment, the dung beetles were placed in a room with glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling. They were able to successfully find the dung and back to the dung beetle abode by using said glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceilings. HOWEVER, (God-forbid) when the crazy scientists moved or removed certain stars, the dung beetles were lost. Can you just picture them rolling their little dung balls in circles. The women beetles saying, “Ask for directions!!” The husband/male dung beetles saying, “No, I know where I am going.” In addition they don’t have Dungquest or Dunggle-Earth, so they could not find their way home.
I ask you, in all seriousness, where can I find grant money like this? I am not sure yet what I want to study, but who on earth came up with an idea for this government funded grant? Millions of Americans are starving and loosing their homes. I guess this means we all should be able to sit back and rest comfortably because we know what the dung beetles use for navigation instead of Dungquest or Dunggle-Earth. I don’t think this was rocket science, in fact I know it wasn’t.
p.s. Watch your poop.