Dung Beetles Disoriented – OMG~!

The other day while driving, I happened to hear a very interesting story.  A government paid grant funded a research on dung beetles.  Dung:  Feces, shit, poop – now you got it.  Dung beetles live on this and when a new pile of dung is discovered, they, or the most industrious of the group, rush to the dung.  They chop or slash off a bit, roll the dung into a ball and then furiously roll it back to their abode, wherever that is.  The problem is that the ‘less-industrious’ of the group, will stage high-jacks of the dung balls en-route to said abode.    Those beetles are the bully-dung beetles and probably carry around a pot belly similar to American beer drinkers and fast-food addicts.  (No offense here.)

So, this government paid grant was funded to see if the dung beetle could find its way home without the stellar/constellations above us.  Yes, turns out the dung beetles find their way around dung and back by following the stars.  Who knew???  What the heck do they do on a cloudy day??!!  (Ah-ha!  Another grant to fund.)

So, as I understand the experiment, the dung beetles were placed in a room with glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling.  They were able to successfully find the dung and back to the dung beetle abode by using said glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceilings.  HOWEVER, (God-forbid) when the crazy scientists moved or removed certain stars, the dung beetles were lost.  Can you just picture them rolling their little dung balls in circles.  The women beetles saying, “Ask for directions!!”  The husband/male dung beetles saying, “No, I know where I am going.”  In addition they don’t have Dungquest or Dunggle-Earth, so they could not find their way home.

I ask you, in all seriousness, where can I find grant money like this?  I am not sure yet what I want to study, but who on earth came up with an idea for this government funded grant?  Millions of Americans are starving and loosing their homes.  I guess this means we all should be able to sit back and rest comfortably because we know what the dung beetles use for navigation instead of Dungquest or Dunggle-Earth.  I don’t think this was rocket science, in fact I know it wasn’t.

p.s. Watch your poop.

Oh, for the love of Pets!

This morning, sitting peacefully at my computer, sipping my morning’s dose of caffeine, this most horrific of smells wanders into the office area.  “Oh no”  I think to myself, River is taking a dump again and it is one heck of a strong one.  His litter box sits relatively close to the office door, but when cleaned regularly, it is not a problem – except when the nasty, smelly, deeds are done.

This morning, the smell was just a bit more unique, more pungent.  I rose from my chair to see his had a little accident on the rug surrounding it and find a stray bit of the looser variety.  He is trying to be the good pet by scratching the run to cover it up.  I run off and get the heavy duty cleaner and a wad of paper towels and clean it up, telling him, “It’s okay.”

I then notice he is sitting in my office taking care of hygiene.  “Good kitty” I think, nothing worse that spots and trails throughout the house.  I look down and notice a shoe-leather diameter strand of errant poop hanging from his butt.  I am thinking, “Poor cat, must have eaten something that didn’t agree with him.”

I gingerly pick him up and rush to the paper towel dispenser to help him.  When, what to my wondering eyes does appear, but a poop covered, 6″ length of brown (duh) ‘something’ get extracted from his butt.  It is obvious to me now that the cat ate a piece of something about 6″ or longer.  I would like to thank my good fortune, that this length foreign string, yarn, leather piece passed with out veterinary assistance.

Gross, yes.  But as a mother you learn to do some of the most unimaginable things.  On this note, I will add this is a first and it was never on a bucket list of to do things.

River is fine, but will be watched that much closer.  “Hey, where did my mouse go….?”

Remember, you got the poop scoop here first.

~Funnyfoddergal~

‘JAMMIES IN A PINCH”

There are just some days when you don’t feel like wearing a bra or getting out of your jammies. Voila! The solution. However, if you are young or blessed with perky ones, you might have to adapt.
Love Gertie~!

Sad Day

Today is a day of reflection, not a funny fodder day.  Yesterday a friend lost his 94 year old mother.  She was a hot ticket and had boyfriends right up until the last one kicked the bucket.  She was a fighter and a feisty one, may she rest in peace.

A couple days ago, a friend in Oz land lost her cat.  Today my niece called hysterical right after her cat mysteriously died.  We hadn’t even been on speaking terms, (me and my niece, the cat and I were fine), but family is family so when she called I dropped everything I was doing and went over to be there for her.  The cat was a hefty 11 or 12 year old cat and there was nothing apparent or really wrong with him.  I am just glad it went quick.  Dying sucks.  Cancer sucks, losing a friend, a relative or a wallet – it all sucks. 

On this sad note, I will head off to bed to la-la land and dream of happy places with blue skies, nice jazz music, angels, wine, chocolate and pleasant temperatures.  I pray for all the sick people in the world.  RIP I and F. 

Hunkered-Down Hibernation

You must say the title like a Billy-Bob or a Bubba would.  “Hunn-ker-daown Hy-bear-na-shun.” Repeat, “Hunn-ker-daown Hy-bear-na-shun.”  Yup, that’s what I have been doing for about 36 hours.  If you have been watching the TV, most of the US is sick with the flu.  “Almost an epidemic” according to some stations.  What?  Sick is sick and a cold is a cold.  The reported cases in the hospitals, in my opinion or IMHO are probably from the thousands of people out of work or without healthcare that turn to the emergency rooms for treatment.  I am sick but the last place I would go to is the hospital unless it felt like I was dying, heck you get more germs at most hospitals!  Just me, but I would prefer to hunker-down, crawl under the covers with a good book or a stack of movies and watch TV all day.

It started about 8 days ago for me.  My 3rd go around with a cold.  I never get sick, well I never did like this.  I really don’t think the last cold went away completely.  I also am not around tons of people like I use to be and I feel like I have not built up the immune system I once had, so I am getting sicker.  I know, that sounds like reverse logic, but doctors say that kids that don’t grow up with pets tend to be more prone to allergies, etc.  That’s my logic and I am sticking to it.

I started my hunkering on Friday night.  Box of tissue, bottles of water and a bag and a-half of candy kisses, some cough syrup (for night and day), the couch and TV.   My cat was with me, choosing his various places to sleep in the next 36 hours.  Friday night was the worst and I almost thought I would have to call out for a home delivery of tissue.  My nose was raw when I finally went to bed.

Saturday I slept in until about 2 PM.  I had woken earlier but felt like crap and said the best thing I could do was sleep, so I did.  Finally at 3 I got up and went to the couch to watch movies until I went to be later that night.  Sunday wasn’t much different, but my nose finally stopped creating the gross stuff and I didn’t have the great need for the tissue I once did.

I spent Sunday on the couch with those darn kisses.  It eventually became a game.  I would eat a candy kiss and then the metal wrapper would be balled up and tossed out onto the rug for the cat to play with.

I can now report approximately 26 metal shaped balls scattered around the floor and house, a bloated belly but a much better cold.  So if you get sick, hunker down, get a cat and some kisses to pass the time.